Heard the pain of a gushot is unbearable
I know how that feels
The feeling of my broken heart can compare
And this pain cannot be healed
The thought of you gone is like a fish without water
No gas in my automobile
No toy in my happy meal
I hate my caller ID because your face never appears
Every incoming text seems incorrect
Cause your name is never there
Tried drinking away my sorrows but
I'm just as empty as these beer cans
Cause me without YOU makes me less of a man
Don't let my sad words take you off course from your future plans
I wish you the best with your newborn and your new man
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Downfall of Vag
ESPN’s SportsCenter, ABC News, Fox News, CNN, The Daily News and just about every other media network is headlining or discussing the now infamous Tiger Woods extra marital affairs incident. Its January 2010 A.D., men AND WOMEN have been creeping on their significant other since the biblical days, folks. Why has all this attention been placed on Tiger Woods for having 11 mistresses? Dudes in the hood have more than 11 baby mothers and they are not millionaires. Situations like that require more attention but that’s another story.
Women have been fighting for decades to obtain the same respect in society from men. Barriers have been broken but equality between men and women is a long road to be conquered. Why you ask? Women are holding themselves back! In “The Battle of the Sexes” women are notorious for pointing the finger of blame but we are given free will. Plenty of times you walk into a situation with a man/women and know the final outcome beforehand because of the type of person they are. The same thing applies to the Tiger Woods situation. Bloomberg News notes “86 percent of U.S. consumers over the age of 6 recognized Woods." So before engaging in filthy, raw, unprotected sex with Tiger, I can bet both my thumbs these women knew what they was getting into. It was no secret that he has been married since 2003 and father to two children. So his wife finds out about his affairs, cool, Tiger was slacking in his macking. Now, 11 females are now coming forward about their affairs, does it all make sense? History is known to repeat itself; do we not remember when Bill Clinton got caught? A few different women came forward about our president coming on to them. Most of it was bullshit, guess only a black man can satisfy multiple women (jokes just jokes folks). But seriously why do women put their whoring on front street after the man gets caught? Why is all this attention placed on Tiger? Is it because he plays golf? The sex was at least consensual, do we not remember the highly publicized Kobe situation? He allegedly fucked a white woman in the ass without her permission but was able to sweep it under the table and buy his wife a million dollar ring to regain her love. (Smart move by the way Kobe it beats divorce settlements i.e. Nas). But why have all these women cried wolf just because they sucked a famous dick. I doubt these women were all virgins prior to these famous cocks. They were satisfied before sucking and fucking a local barber, bus driver or deli department manager, so why cry wolf? Because of the fame! Plenty of females out there are dealing with stock boys from Home Depot but once you wrap your lips around a "real" rapper, athlete etc. (not talking local Smack DVD Rucker negros) you are just as "famous."
How many men have looked for fame off of famous females?
I'll wait...I pondered the question myself.
The most famous is Steadman (and he doesn't even want the fame) behind him is Kevin Ferderline. I mean Ferderline was white trash so he didn't know how to play his role; he started to act just like these wolf in sheep clothing females. But do we not see the trend that has been built over the years ladies? You let the media degrade you nationally and internationally with all these scandals and affairs. Tiger eleven hos are now known on a first name basis around the world but after their reality shows, book deals and Playboy photos where will they be? Ladies you have not been "making the money, you letting the money make you." Wouldn't it make more sense to be the mistress behind closed doors compared to the worldwide known dicksucker? Do we not remember the phrase "Lady in the streets, Freak in the bed?"
So rewind this Tiger situation and I am Mistress #5. So Tiger is busted and I am looking at the news, I see these other dumb hos coming forward about their affairs. All I would do is send Tiger a text and say "Fuck You, Pay Me." You think men like to get caught especially on the level Tiger is at? This man is losing money over these broads so it would be smarter and easier for him to just pay them some sort of hush money to keep their mouths shut. Who loses in this situation?!?! I would prefer a lifetime of wealth compared to five minutes of fame. Fame as a home wrecker?? "C'mon Son".
Look, my beautiful, smart, elegant ladies you need to take a stand. “One bad apple spoils all the vag” (2010 Shotta Blogger twist). Gold digging is clearly the motive of many women out there. They slanging they clit in fields, areans and now golf courses in pursuit of five minutes of fame. This mentality trickles down though to men everywhere in all fields politicans, garbage men, the head cashier at C-town even damn dollar van drivers. Before you even open your mouth ladies most men look at you as an object looking for quick come-up. Your job, in any interaction, with a male is to let him know your self-worth. When you at the bar if he offers to buy you a drink, refuse, do not give him that “power.” Little shit like that will mess a guys head up because to the majority of us you are no better than one of Tiger’s hos. I want to see all the vagina around the world liberated! Big vag, little vag, pretty vag, ugly vag, ALL VAG, you are a bitch because you call yourself bitches. Stop blaming men! Don’t show your independence through a Louis Vuitton bag; show it with a condo purchase! Do not let these infamous hos hold you back ladies; you are the Queens of this land and its time to RE-claim your position in this society.
Women have been fighting for decades to obtain the same respect in society from men. Barriers have been broken but equality between men and women is a long road to be conquered. Why you ask? Women are holding themselves back! In “The Battle of the Sexes” women are notorious for pointing the finger of blame but we are given free will. Plenty of times you walk into a situation with a man/women and know the final outcome beforehand because of the type of person they are. The same thing applies to the Tiger Woods situation. Bloomberg News notes “86 percent of U.S. consumers over the age of 6 recognized Woods." So before engaging in filthy, raw, unprotected sex with Tiger, I can bet both my thumbs these women knew what they was getting into. It was no secret that he has been married since 2003 and father to two children. So his wife finds out about his affairs, cool, Tiger was slacking in his macking. Now, 11 females are now coming forward about their affairs, does it all make sense? History is known to repeat itself; do we not remember when Bill Clinton got caught? A few different women came forward about our president coming on to them. Most of it was bullshit, guess only a black man can satisfy multiple women (jokes just jokes folks). But seriously why do women put their whoring on front street after the man gets caught? Why is all this attention placed on Tiger? Is it because he plays golf? The sex was at least consensual, do we not remember the highly publicized Kobe situation? He allegedly fucked a white woman in the ass without her permission but was able to sweep it under the table and buy his wife a million dollar ring to regain her love. (Smart move by the way Kobe it beats divorce settlements i.e. Nas). But why have all these women cried wolf just because they sucked a famous dick. I doubt these women were all virgins prior to these famous cocks. They were satisfied before sucking and fucking a local barber, bus driver or deli department manager, so why cry wolf? Because of the fame! Plenty of females out there are dealing with stock boys from Home Depot but once you wrap your lips around a "real" rapper, athlete etc. (not talking local Smack DVD Rucker negros) you are just as "famous."
How many men have looked for fame off of famous females?
I'll wait...I pondered the question myself.
The most famous is Steadman (and he doesn't even want the fame) behind him is Kevin Ferderline. I mean Ferderline was white trash so he didn't know how to play his role; he started to act just like these wolf in sheep clothing females. But do we not see the trend that has been built over the years ladies? You let the media degrade you nationally and internationally with all these scandals and affairs. Tiger eleven hos are now known on a first name basis around the world but after their reality shows, book deals and Playboy photos where will they be? Ladies you have not been "making the money, you letting the money make you." Wouldn't it make more sense to be the mistress behind closed doors compared to the worldwide known dicksucker? Do we not remember the phrase "Lady in the streets, Freak in the bed?"
So rewind this Tiger situation and I am Mistress #5. So Tiger is busted and I am looking at the news, I see these other dumb hos coming forward about their affairs. All I would do is send Tiger a text and say "Fuck You, Pay Me." You think men like to get caught especially on the level Tiger is at? This man is losing money over these broads so it would be smarter and easier for him to just pay them some sort of hush money to keep their mouths shut. Who loses in this situation?!?! I would prefer a lifetime of wealth compared to five minutes of fame. Fame as a home wrecker?? "C'mon Son".
Look, my beautiful, smart, elegant ladies you need to take a stand. “One bad apple spoils all the vag” (2010 Shotta Blogger twist). Gold digging is clearly the motive of many women out there. They slanging they clit in fields, areans and now golf courses in pursuit of five minutes of fame. This mentality trickles down though to men everywhere in all fields politicans, garbage men, the head cashier at C-town even damn dollar van drivers. Before you even open your mouth ladies most men look at you as an object looking for quick come-up. Your job, in any interaction, with a male is to let him know your self-worth. When you at the bar if he offers to buy you a drink, refuse, do not give him that “power.” Little shit like that will mess a guys head up because to the majority of us you are no better than one of Tiger’s hos. I want to see all the vagina around the world liberated! Big vag, little vag, pretty vag, ugly vag, ALL VAG, you are a bitch because you call yourself bitches. Stop blaming men! Don’t show your independence through a Louis Vuitton bag; show it with a condo purchase! Do not let these infamous hos hold you back ladies; you are the Queens of this land and its time to RE-claim your position in this society.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Art of War: Cheat Smarter not Harder
Men are dogs, that’s a given. It’s because we have no shame and we just shit anywhere, unlike our female counterparts who move like cats and cover their shit in the litter box. Therefore, fellas, the old saying never changes "If you can't beat ‘em, join ‘em." Get a pen and pad ready, gentlemen, we are going to analyze how we failed at cheating for so long where as females have excelled.
We cannot sit here listing and analyzing why men cheat because the reasons are endless but for a women it is very simple and straight forward. She is either unhappy with her current spouse physically or mentally or she just has a "male" sex drive and her boyfriend isn't enough to fulfill her sexual appetite. Regardless of the reason it appears to be a part of the female DNA to have mastered the "art" of juggling multiple partners with a higher percentage of not getting caught.
Take for example, guys night out, no girlfriends allowed. Tonight’s destination is the nightclub where you can eye fuck free before midnight ladies unreservedly. Club is packed, music is right and at the bar a 5'9 long haired, size D, barely fitting in that dress (which is probably one size too small) with the roundest backside female approaches you. Of course, you buy her a drink and engage in some small talk. Before you depart you make your move and ask for her number which she bestows into your cell phone without any hesitation. A few phone conversations pass and both of your schedules finally match with free time one Friday evening. Out to dinner, good conversation and drinks flowing when she hits you with the million dollar question. "Are you currently involved with anyone?" This is usually the beginning of the end for most men because we always answer "No" even though it’s actually "Yes". I mean, how can you risk her getting completely turned off from you right now? Shit if you play your cards right you may even hit it tonight. Doesn't matter gentleman, as the saying goes "The truth shall set you free," and the same rules apply in the art of cheating (to a certain extent.) One major issue men have to deal with living a double love life is keeping up with the lie with both ladies. Women avoid this issue by telling their "jumpoff" about their main squeeze. I mean, its easier for women to explain because what man is going to get emo about a physical relationship with some random dude’s girlfriend? But for men, society has frowned upon women who take the girlfriend #2 role. So when you are hit with the question of your involvement, the infamous line from "The Best Man" pops into a mans head, "Ain't no pussy better than new pussy." On one hand, you can risk wasting those phone conversations, dirty text messages, and dates, and go home to the same vag. On the other hand, if you lie about your relationship you can increase your chances to motorboating those D Size breasts from the club. Gentlemen have we not learned that a "loyal" girlfriend #2 is hard to come by (ask Tiger), and in order to even build that situation, you need some honesty. This requires a lot of self-control and wasted dates because it is rare that a female will have no issue playing number 2-- but is it not worth it? In comparison to juggling lies between two females, and now spending double... not many females like to spend Valentine's Day alone.So in 2010 fellas let’s cheat smarter not harder. Do not sweep a girl off her feet based off a lie, you can save yourself a lot of headaches and money. So while in pursuit know when to lie and when to tell the truth. Never lie about the girlfriend! I’m tired of women saying men are dogs because we shit in public, simply because they cover their shit: the odor stills exist and it is not sweet! Ladies, the secrets are out and we know how you move. Look out for more lady cheating tips in the near future.
We cannot sit here listing and analyzing why men cheat because the reasons are endless but for a women it is very simple and straight forward. She is either unhappy with her current spouse physically or mentally or she just has a "male" sex drive and her boyfriend isn't enough to fulfill her sexual appetite. Regardless of the reason it appears to be a part of the female DNA to have mastered the "art" of juggling multiple partners with a higher percentage of not getting caught.
Take for example, guys night out, no girlfriends allowed. Tonight’s destination is the nightclub where you can eye fuck free before midnight ladies unreservedly. Club is packed, music is right and at the bar a 5'9 long haired, size D, barely fitting in that dress (which is probably one size too small) with the roundest backside female approaches you. Of course, you buy her a drink and engage in some small talk. Before you depart you make your move and ask for her number which she bestows into your cell phone without any hesitation. A few phone conversations pass and both of your schedules finally match with free time one Friday evening. Out to dinner, good conversation and drinks flowing when she hits you with the million dollar question. "Are you currently involved with anyone?" This is usually the beginning of the end for most men because we always answer "No" even though it’s actually "Yes". I mean, how can you risk her getting completely turned off from you right now? Shit if you play your cards right you may even hit it tonight. Doesn't matter gentleman, as the saying goes "The truth shall set you free," and the same rules apply in the art of cheating (to a certain extent.) One major issue men have to deal with living a double love life is keeping up with the lie with both ladies. Women avoid this issue by telling their "jumpoff" about their main squeeze. I mean, its easier for women to explain because what man is going to get emo about a physical relationship with some random dude’s girlfriend? But for men, society has frowned upon women who take the girlfriend #2 role. So when you are hit with the question of your involvement, the infamous line from "The Best Man" pops into a mans head, "Ain't no pussy better than new pussy." On one hand, you can risk wasting those phone conversations, dirty text messages, and dates, and go home to the same vag. On the other hand, if you lie about your relationship you can increase your chances to motorboating those D Size breasts from the club. Gentlemen have we not learned that a "loyal" girlfriend #2 is hard to come by (ask Tiger), and in order to even build that situation, you need some honesty. This requires a lot of self-control and wasted dates because it is rare that a female will have no issue playing number 2-- but is it not worth it? In comparison to juggling lies between two females, and now spending double... not many females like to spend Valentine's Day alone.
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