Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fathers Day in the hood

The black father has been spotted with the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Hopefully you can have more luck finding them compared to George Bush. Father's Day is usually just another day for millions of other people across the nation but my childhood was blessed with a loving Uncle and Grandfather and in more recent years I have been associated with friends who are actual FATHER'S and not daddies. Their efforts give me that stroke of courage that we as a people are doing better. I let them know also how I am proud of them, I feel our black fathers need that encouragement because it is so easy for them to stray and it’s expected in this society. Black fathers in the hood are usually a welfare or child support check so please on this Father's Day a simple text, hug anything to that man who is involved with your child's life. Ok Ok its Father's day, a day for men so none of that mushy shit anymore lets get down to business. My friend Q Double over at went around this week and asked his friends a simple question:

What does it mean to be a father? Give your realest answer, experiences whatever. Even if he wasn't around or you are just a bird who collects a check. Even if you not a pops, yall know what I mean.

Well not that simple because it is such a touchy subject in the hood but Q Double has put together a collage of answers from his friends and colleagues. Some funny, some sad, some different and plenty you can relate to. For more by Q Double check him out on

I got an email the other day from a fan of the site. My first thought: "DAMN we got a fan, hope it ain't the po-lease." Upon skimming through the "shit," "muhfucka," "that bitch ain't shit," "fuck-a-cuddle," and "yo wassup with Snugg she single," this person asked what are my thoughts aboutFahvazs Day.”

Now I can say that this day is overlooked because the big companies are run by momma’s boys who don’t even know how to be fathers themselves.

There’s plenty of real fathers out there. They just get the “F-ck You” treatment because the courts are used to helping the female instead of the male (FUCK CHILD SUPPORT!!!!).

But why just have that, when I can have the thoughts from fellow readers. Share their feelings and experiences, and have it all coming together to create the realest, and truest, Fahvaz Day from peoples who live it and go through it every day.

Cause here at I.S., we don't just write the plain ass facts, if we did than we'll be just some
respectable negroes.

Prepare to laugh, cry, doze off, nod in agreement, yell, smack your daddy because he did that to you, hug your daddy because he did that to you, reminisce, or just smile for the next couple of minutes.

And remember to wish the REAL FATHERS a Happy Fahvaz Day.

Definition of a Father:

"A man that is there to guide you from not making a mistake and point you in the right direction. Hold you down no matter what and love you unconditionally." -Gypsy

"In its simplest definition, I'd say a sperm donor. As in: 'In the case of Quantanesha... You ARE the father.'" – Snugg McNugg

"Guidance and support. I damn sure ain't no pappy. Maury cleared me already." -B. Tate

-Scribes Note: FUCK MAURY and the all the ignorant people who want to be on the show.

"Being a dad is patience, sacrifice, and fearlessness: Patience is plainly what it sounds like.....and lots and lots of it." -Q. Busy

"A father is supposed to be a leader, an advisor, a teacher, a counselor, and your number one fan. My dad and I weren't close when I was younger. It wasn't till recently when we almost had a brawl that we realized how much a like we were. I had to tell him how much I needed his support not just financially but emotionally. Now he is always there to listen and his advice is the greatest. I am grateful to have him cause three years ago he might not have been here." -J. Moore

"Guidance and he is supposed to show u how to be a man…well for a son that is. I don't want fathers raising women to be dikes." -Shotta Dru

You wasn’t there, didn’t make me no never mind:

"Honestly, my uncle was a true dad to me: picking me up from school, spoiling me, disciplining me, and all that. He supports my mother, his sister, through everything. A real father is there through the good, the bad, the ugly, and in between. You can honestly feel their love and understand it. Guidance, Love, and Support. You may not see it but you know they got you no matter what.” –Chrissy

"My godfather is my father. He is hip and cool and we have the same b-day. I forgave my father for being a jerk." -Gypsy

"My father was barely there when I was growing up. Enough said. Not like he is helping me now or when I was younger. Still turned out to be a fine young man without him. So fuck him." –Q. Holliday

"But there is mad shit I had to learn from observation. Even how I deal with chicks, I learned on my own. Cause all my mom could teach me was ‘use condoms’ and ‘I ain’t raising no grandkids. My grandfather was my father. That’s why I never got over his death.” –Shotta Dru

I beat my kid’s ass. SO WHAT!!!! They my kids:

"I don't think experience is all that counts cuz u have young dads like myself. I think it's whether or not you choose to make the sacrifices necessary to see your children grow to be better off in life. I will say I'm a father and hope my daughter is raised with the right morals instilled in her to make her a better and stronger "woman." So for now, I'm Dad because I will make mistakes, but it takes a father to understand. Ya dig!!!" -D. DeLeon

"As a father, nothing makes you happier that watching your kids laugh, but many choose to live for themselves and never experience that." –G.

Sacrifice: Meaning, sometimes--most of the time--giving up the material things (and time to do them) to ensure that they have the finest things that my wife and I can provide for them. If that means that I’m going to continue wearing these tired ass jeans and polo sneakers a lil’ while longer so that they can look correct, so be it.” –Q. Busy

Baby Mommas, Daddies, & Deadbeats:

"Me personally, I never understood the deadbeat dad shit, I LOVE watching my kids!!! They are comedy in motion." -W. Jasper

"Fuck that father shit. Can't bust in these bitches these days. They looking' for a come up to trap a nigga. So I'm just going to stack this bread and fuck these hoes. Til' the day I'm a father, that's all I'm 'bout." –L. Smith

This might offend some people, but fuck it. There are some trifling ass women out here who can't fathom what a good man and father is. So they cut him loose and do what's easy: Get that man for motherfuckin' child support. These bitches thinking their winning too." –T. Lewis

"I refuse to be a baby's daddy. Who invented that shit?"
-Scribes Note: Women did. It has been documented and recorded throughout the 70s til now. Now that phrase is the norm now. If you think I’m lying, then you must be one of those women.

“I think child support is misused by the courts and SOME of the people that receive it. You have conniving women who feel that a child support check is a real check and choose not to work. So they start to spend the child’s money for their own needs and wants. On the same token, there are daddies out there who use that child support check as the excuse for raising their child. All-in-all: Those checks are fucking up the parental system in some way, using it as a means for raising kids. It needs to be re-worked and fixed in a way where it’s not being misused and the REAL parents don’t have to pay out, not even know if the child is receiving it. *fin*” –Q Double

Speaking about baby daddies, somebody has something to say…:

"It means a lot to be a father, doesn't mean shit to be a daddy though. I hate the term 'baby daddy,' that's not me. Daddy is one who is around, a father is the one who brings you up and teaches you right from wrong. The one who educates, not buys his kid a pair of Jordan’s every once in a while or a new PS3 game...I'm my child’s father and not a bitches 'baby daddy.' I don't know too many people who do what I do, and that's to be a single father. Shit is the toughest task I have ever taken on. It's important for a child to have both parents. It's hard for a man to try to care and show that soft side like a woman does for a child. Fathers show love, fathers deserve a Fathers Day, cuz I know I do. I had a FATHER growin' up, no DADDY, and I will make sure mine has the same. Niggas don't understand they "emotionally fuck" up their children from the get, trying be a baby daddy. It's sad to say, but I have seen it with both of my nieces, they just had daddies. Shit is lame." -C. Wright

"I wanted to walk just like you/ wanted to talk just like you"
-Jay-Z "Soon You'll Understand:"

"A real father knows that his kids are looking at everything their doing. From how you put your socks on to the way you drink. It’s all recorded." -The Homeboy Southside Queens.

"My lil' boy was sitting on the couch watching cartoons, right. I'm just looking at him through the corner of my eye. Just looking. Then he turns and says 'you got a problem Dad, I'm trying watch my shows.' Yeah, I knew was a father at that moment." -D. Harrington

"Picture a kid's world. They're either happy (laughing) or sad (crying). Link that to a parent. Parents ALWAYS know how their kids are feeling." –G.

“Fearlessness, because an effective ever-present father is the #1 man/male in his children's lives. He should be a symbol of righteousness and manhood, standing for what he feels is right at all times. Fearlessness: also meaning never being AFRAID to enforce his unpopular rule and be an adequate guardian and role model, rather than being the child's friend.” –Q. Busy

"Black children, just children in general, need fathers not daddies, ya dig! So shout out to all the real fathers, and off with this 'baby daddy' shit. We need to start a new trend: be a father, feel me, and fuck a 'baby daddy.' Middle fingers up to them niggas and a BIG PAT on the back to niggas like me...FATHERS!” –C. Wright

Shotta Sidenote:

My friend Lonnie sent another cliche BBM blast about Father's Day. I joked and called him Oprah but this shit needs to be on a billboard somewhere. Love the promotion of positivity. Here goes the random rant from my friend Lonnie/@inkrediblenyc

Random thoughts/rants:

A Father can never replace a Mother. A Mother can never replace a Father. We should all be able to appreciate one without having to bring down the other.

Applaud and uplift the ones who do it alone without stepping on the backs of those that are absent to raise them up.

To those that haven't become parents yet, be aware of the face that EVERYONE you lay down with could very well be the mother/father of your child, and the onus is on both of you to do the best job you can.

Choose your parents wisely and lose the negativity.

Happy Father's Day

No comments:

Post a Comment