Even though I recently stepped up my shaving skills and became a baldie, there is one thing I will always miss: barbershop conversations. Lessons are learned, disputes are settled and friends are made during barbershop conversations. Fresh off of my annual trip to Miami Carnival, I was able to connect with friends and have some good ol' traditional barbershop convo over 190 octanes and wings. One of the funniest topics discussed were "great moments of hookup history." We live vicariously during the successful attempts and roast each other for hours on the failed attempts. One of my counterparts told us an amazing hookup story of his during one of our sessions. At "Shine," an annual Breakfast party during carnival weekend, my friend tells us how he had his eye on one girl most of that morning. The way she moved her ass, as well as its circumference made him as determined as Dylan, Dylan, Dylan in the recording studio. Towards the end of the event, he approaches her and numbers are exchanged. Typical Miami shit right? Wrong.
He goes on to text her later to see what she will be getting into for the night and says he would love to see her. Man o man, did my boy strike gold as she was just as determined as him to get up. She was so determined that she told her friends to go to the club without her. Clearly we know what went down. End story, right? Wrong!
After one round of Miami daggering, she makes requests for more but a different venue. While in her hotel room, her cell phone was ringing off the hook. While exiting the hotel, a car pulls up and the chick knows the driver of the vehicle. She left my friend behind for brief chit chat and returns telling him "that was just a friend." He described the "oh shit" look on the driver face he as priceless. They go back to his place and knock out round 2. During round 1 when a request was made for Bernie Mac special attention, she asked him if he was returning the favor. Why would a man kiss you up top or below he does not know you! To his advantage, he strikes gold again as she performs amazing fellatio prior the round 2 daggering. End story again right....Wrong!
We go on to ask about her friends who she was staying with, and if they are from New York also because we need to link with these chicks ASAP. "Sorry fellas, that’s not happening. She kept it 100 with me and goes on to tell me she fucked the "mystery driver" a few days ago and she's married!" So in less than 24 hrs, this married woman sucked and fucked you, and is now home kissing her husband? Who knows how many other guys got to explore her vaginal walls while in Miami. Like I said in the past, ladies stop blaming men. We are not all cheating low-life dogs. Only time you ladies should call a man a dog is it he masturbates instead of sexing u. Cheating requires 2 parties unlike jerking off. Granted, I don't know shorty's situation between her and her husband, but its bad enough to drive her to get her "groove back" while he sits at home. Contrary to what the masses make us believe, men are weaker compared to women but you ladies have been playing the victim role for too long! I can’t even explain it, ladies- your shape, your lips, your hair, your taste, it just makes men weak! Friends stab friends and family members in the back over you! I just need my Queens to stop with the bullshit and keep it funky. I DO NOT want to hear anymore men are dogs, I don’t need no n*gga etc. Men are DOGS, Women are DOGS get a leash or invest in cats because you will die alone and lonely.
Signing off folks...... Southbeach Shotta aka Shotta Blogger
LMAO! mad late and just read this. ummm, the girl described in this story sounds a little loosy goosy. and you're right - girls do need to stop with the whole "men ain't ish" hoopla. yes, sterotypically speaking, men cheat, lie, etc. howevs, you get what you put out. and quite frankly, women deal with the ish and still complain about it. lol - this piece was entertaining bro.
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