Monday, September 13, 2010

Five Areas of Investment in a Relationship: Part One

Check out this piece from my homey Mister B. He has a lot of positive and deep blogs you should check out on Here is part one of a series he started where he discusses the elements needed to have a fulfilling and rich relationship with your partner.

When I told people I was writing this blog post a lot of interest was received on this topic. Many have voiced to me that it is really hard to choose if they should take the next step with people they are dating. There are people who date and date with no idea if this is someone they want to develop a relationship with. Then there are those who invest in relationships without doing their due diligence in getting to know their partner. A lot of people neglect certain factors that they dislike about a person, but many times choose to overlook these things in search of love and companionship. Not fully getting to know one another individually always leads to premature relationships and marriages which cause more damage to your well-being than good.

In this post I attempt to give a reference point or guide of measurement for those before they enter in the investment of a long-term relationship or potential marriage. The science of love is a mystery and cannot always be explained, but there shouldn’t be any confusion with love or like. You can’t make key life decisions off the basis of pure emotion alone. First things first, before you enter into any relationship you should have a sufficient love of self. I will go into detail more about love of self in a future blog, but just know you cannot properly invest in a long-term relationship or marriage without it.

So now I will speak about the 5 domains of self-wellness that long-term relationships and marriages directly affect. The first domain I will speak about is in the area of Spirituality. A quote I love to cite is ‎”Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”-Aristotle. I love this because people do not realize that when you consummate a relationship you and another person are co-creating another soul. This is the soul of love or the lack therefore of. You cannot create love if the soul of one of the individuals’ soul is empty on this matter. Someone who truly loves another human being will show love with impeccable word. Words of kindness, appreciation, and joy will feed the spirit of both individuals the majority of the time. Fewer times of conflict and stress is what is needed to maintain spiritual wellness. Words of affirmation feed the mind, body, and soul, while words of anger and hostility damage the mind, body, and soul. So for a lasting love this area of your relationship must be healthy.

The next domain I will look at is the area of Mental Wellness. Sometimes mentally scarring in a bad relationship can permanently damage individuals for a lifetime dealing with the opposite sex. Some people are mentally fragile in this world and bad relationships can lead to a downfall of mental health such as illness, addiction, and self-abuse. For those who it doesn’t affect as deeply unhealthy relationships affecting your mental may surface in the form of self-rejection. This state of mind affects the self-esteem and confidence of an individual invested in an unhealthy relationship. The underestimation of self in situations become commonplace mentally for many during this time. This can transfer not just in your relationship, but in all facets of life. Also, during an unhealthy relationship other core elements of mental wellness maybe affected like lack of good nutrition, exercise, lack of sleep, and increased stress. Also a change in attitude will be noted as well by loved ones. If your optimistic attitude on life is stilted it maybe time to pull out of your investment in this relationship or marriage.

My third domain I will address is in the area of Emotional Wellness. This area is a sibling of Mental Wellness as they are intertwined. Women are generally affected more than men emotionally in a bad relationship. Before you invest emotionally in a relationship there must be mutual commitment, trust, and respect. For a lasting love their must constant reflection on how you two treat one another. Couples that are open to change and respond to each other’s emotional needs last longer than who are not as adaptable to change. Also, a base of unconditional love and respect must be developing between a couple. Generally women’s emotions respond best to unconditional love by her man. Just as man who lacks a woman’s nurturing loving nature responds best to unconditional respect from his lady. Having a healthy relationship with your mate will help you keep your emotions more positive and optimistic. Other relationships will benefit and your love of self will be higher. Therefore, keeping your emotional and mental state stable and positive is always best.

I hope you enjoy this blog post and feel free to comment or email me at if you have any questions.

Please do follow me on Twitter: @CallMeMisterB

No comments:

Post a Comment