Friday, April 22, 2011

He loves me, He loves me not

Relationships are hard.  One of the hardest parts of relationships is walking away from them.  Love is such a powerful emotion.  After giving your heart to someone there is basically no limit what one will do to bring happiness to his or her mate.  Its weird though because no matter how much he/she cheats, no matter how much he beats you that person still means the world to you.  Extreme examples but that is the reality plenty of our peers are living all in the name of love.
 Now in our roaring twenties approaching the big 3-0 we are in pursuit of our goals and aspirations.  Looking to fulfill like landing a dream job, making that first major purchase of a car or home or paying off those evil student loans some common endeavors of our generation.  While on your journey I have encountered plenty associates of mine who don't plan on taking a life mate with them on this road.  I don't think it is weird anymore when I hear someone say, "I don't think I am ever getting married".  Life long matrimony has become as irrelevant with our generation but we have no problem exercising our gift of giving life.  But why do we build a life long bond (a child) with a person you cannot see a future with?  I'll wait...

Yes I know some of you are saying every situation is unique but I've personally seen messed up situations/relationships get worse when pregnancy becomes a factor.  If feels like we gave up on family.  Ever get a surprised expression when you tell someone you don't have any kids? How many times is “are you married” the leading question before the kids question? I'll wait again...  

People who talk to me on a personal level know I do not plan on bringing life into this world until I put a ring on it, no Beyoncé.  Some are surprised and intrigued by my discipline on the situation, I find it weird my male counterparts don't have the same mentality.  Like I said earlier break ups is one of the hardest parts of a relationship so why keep a bond with someone who gives me the same feeling like the application of IcyHot? 

Sometimes kids are not a factor and it is still difficult to walk away from a relationship.  Shit was sweet in high school even college.  We were young, wet behind the ears about love, commitment and relationships but shit got extremely serious with age, who has time to change girlfriends every semester any more.  Relationships get more expensive, time consuming and emotional so someone that you thought was going to be a fling is now asking about moving in together or taking a vacation together.  It's crazy whom you end up dealing with a year or more, time flies!  Time leads many to feel like they have to settle in a relationship and stay together because who wants to be lonely?  We usually get signs early in relationships of stuff that you find unbearable but love is good to give one hope, thinking that your lover will change to make you happy.  It is possible but it is highly unlikely and rare, "you can not teach a old dog new tricks".  So what is one to do?  Would it benefit you leaving a situation early on to avoid getting "comfortable"?  Comfort in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean happiness but we know it is not easy going from a so-so situation to no situation.  What do you think?  Leave from early if there are characteristics you cannot tolerate long term or hope for change, no Obama?  Why is it so hard to leave after investing a couple of months into someone and that investment does not flourish? Let's discuss.

"Let's be happy apart instead of together upset" - Fabolous


  1. This is the story of my life right now....I'm definitely at the crossroad

  2. I used to be the girl who gave it a fighting chance even though there were things early on that made me feel like it wouldn't work...that is until 2.5 years went by & I realized I was right from jump & had no business staying. Now I live by my friend's favorite quote when it comes to dating:Enjoy every moment but "Don't ignore the signs". People need to learn how to take the "L" & move on. Time is way too precious to waste being with someone you consider to be "just good enough".

  3. at least u learned not 2 settle i see so many who dont learn from past mistakes they repeat the same process, pointless relationship after another