Friday, June 3, 2011

The Evolution of Relationships

Men and women love to be in love.  The pursuit and approach of seeking love is totally different between the sexes, which causes the never-ending tension between men and women.  For men girlfriends just happen, there may be a woman of our interests in our life but we will not change how we act, talk, dress etc. That is until we are in a relationship you may see actual changes in a man, pussy is that powerful to change SOME men.  Women on the other hand will put their heart on the line just to say they have a man.  Change places where they hang out, how they dress, talk, even stop having sex just waiting for that special someone to sweep them off their feet so they can live happily ever after.  Unfortunately ladies it doesn't work this way if you want a boyfriend.  The sad thing is a woman will settle for a "situationship" just to say they have someone.  Not everything like a real relationship but from the outside looking in she has a shoulder to cry on, someone who picks her up from the train after work, a man who breaks her back out before the credits start rolling when they watch Netflix.  Not sure if you are in a situationship or a relationship?  Lets discuss some key factors that separate the real from the false hopes.

The little things matter most
So your "man" calls and says he is on his way to your house and you tell him you are hungry.  Nothing serious you ask him to pick you up McDonalds before he comes, cool, click.  Now a man who you been involved with at least 6 months or more could pick up your meal exactly the way you like it, in a relationship that is.  In a situationship the little things like this do not count.  He does not pick up on your habits, likes, dislikes and concerns.  Yeah you have a toothbrush at his house but do you have pads there?  Most would look over these things but a man who takes you serious and is really looking for longevity studies you.

Don't be caught into routine
After dealing with someone for some time you start to build a routine, that's natural in relationships.  But have you ever found yourself in a fake 25 plus year marriage?  Do you only see your "boyfriend" in the house? Yes some guys don't go out every weekend but everyone has some sort of social life.  If you are never apart of his social life you aren't really his girlfriend.  Men love to show off what they have like cars and clothing.  But nothing boosts a man ego more than walking out with his bad bitch on his arm.  If he tries to act like he is too busy to take you out or never takes you to birthday/game night gatherings with his friends quit while you are ahead.  If a year has pasted by and you never held a conversation with his right hand man and his mother/father you are in a situationship. 

Life doesn't change so quickly
Broke rarely comes overnight.  Young people have a tendency to "fake it until to make it"; men are masters of this skill actually.  We all know the easiest way to attract more box is with material items. Why do you think niggas rather sell drugs compared to getting degrees?  Biggie told us "Money, cars, hoes and clothes, all a nigga knows".  But we have situations after the bottles are popped and the Red Lobster biscuits are done where he doesn't have time for you or money for all the fun you two have before the sex.  But I bet he has time for sex though.  After months of complaining about how he changed you are now crying to your girlfriends about how he doesn't treat you like he use to. Smarten up he is obviously giving someone else that treatment you once had, no matter how hard it is if a dude is interested in you genuinely he will make it happen somehow.  It may not be luxurious as before because he really is fucked up in the game but if his heart is with you he will put a smile on your face even if its with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  (Has to be extreme circumstances for PB&J's though lol).

Life is too damn short and as you approach thirty start using your brain not only your heart.  Your heart can steer you wrong no matter how good you may think he/she is for you.  Hope for change is how a lot of single mother situations are derived.  Summer is here so everyone is trying to have fun but do not become someone's personal joke.

1 comment:

  1. Deep piece. I think I was personally just hurt because I think women instincts are to react as a woman and follow heart first. But society and men change her to become "hip to the game" and for us @ women to be smarter. The whole game of love is that. A stupid game. And in 2011 when people our age are fast approaching 30 I think it gets harder and hard. For u to understand a man and for u to get from him what u deserve.... RESPECT. None the less it leaves me here. As a single african american woman wondering. When? Why? How? Lol I'm just lost and every new situation I try to change my outlook and my approciate with keeping consistent of being ME. U mentioned something something about women not having sex etc. I think that's just frustration and us taking a minute to recollect our selves and know what we want + get what we want. I know too many african american women single and not married. And to me they are quality women. I didn't think LOVE would be this confusing but I strongly believe in it and if it will be it'll be. sometimes u have to sleep on the other side of the bed to get a different view of the pillow.