Saturday, November 12, 2011

Thirst: The Great Misconception by @TheLastJ

I tweeted some shit one day about Urkle and the Thirst and then one of my boys showed me this piece by the homey @TheLastJ.  Only right I spred the love and give you "The Thirst" from another angle and good POV.  Check it out and as usual leave feedback, we would love it.

Salutations, greetings, and long winded gang, affiliated handshakes to everyone out here on these innanet streets. Most importantly, to the good folk of the L’Creme Nation for allowing me to share some thoughts with the people via public library computer (which I may or may not have strong-armed from some 12 year old). Today I, Jr aka Black Galifianakis aka Young Pocket Lint aka Dances with Empty Wallets, want to clear up some mistaken notions regarding an instance that we all may or may have not experienced; Thirst. But before we get into certain intricacies of thirst, we must first find a fundamental understanding of what thirst means. Let us open up our dictionaries, shall we?

Thirst(n)strong or eager desire; craving; an intense need.

Thirst. We all experience it, reciprocate it, some feed off of it, and others may be repulsed by it. Thirst in regards to basic necessities, are a given. But thirst in regards to courting the opposite sex seems to be the Rubik’s cube of life some have yet to solve. Thirst is necessary, especially when seeking the affections of big booty Shauna who lives down the block, yet is oblivious to your swaggerless existence. Its something that should be handled and monitored with care. The reason why thirst seems to bamboozle even the smoothest of players(and playettes) is that gauging the person being courted is NEVER easy.

Examples of such miscalculations can be seen on Nick at Nite daily, from bayside High’s own Screech, to Steve Urkel. You could even toss Stephon Urquelle up on that list of cats who fumbled in the red zone. In Steve and Screech’s cases, they were too aggressive(insufficient swag levels notwithstanding). Flowers, poems, colossal displays of affection towards women they hadn’t even seen naked yet. All these simptastic things only gave Lisa Turtle and Laura Winslow more of a reason to never buss it open for them.

One of the many Thirst Violation—>

Now on the other end of the spectrum, Stephon Urquelle was the smoothest thing to ever happen to the Friday night 8pm time slot on ABC. But he too had his miscues, his swag alone had laura open, all he had to was put a small piece of thirst bait out there and wait for her to deliver the box on a platter.—>

Nah, but Stephon chose to take his unprecedented levels of swagdom far beyond the human limits and in turn, turned Laura off. And he NEVER got see that good good she had to offer. Who says TV doesn’t offer life lessons?
** Side note**Maxine and Myra were always, to me, badder than Laura. This is not up for discussion.
As of late, it seems some folk have misinterpreted the meaning of thirst. On twitter and facebook, there’s a plethora of conceited, self centered women(and men) who take pride in “exposing” their interpretation of thirst. For months now I’ve witnessed the screencaps and twitpics of people pouring their whole being into a private message, that is sent in confidence, only to end up as a punchline on some message board or timeline. Lets get a few things straight here: If someone who you never spoke to lets you know how they feel about you, its not thirst. But if you denied his or her previous 13 advances, its thirst. There seem to be some people who never got any attention before they found out what an ethernet cord was, so now that they get a some attention they turn their noses up and toss up tweets and facebook status updates such as: “OMG these Ni**as be sweating me, i know imma bad B*tch…. fall back. ugh…” or “I got hoes I ont’ een know on my dick cuh, guess they feelin the swag, nyamshayin’?”. The fuck outa here, if those ever so lonely souls never dropped those tender, heart felt messages, in your inbox you’d be on Christian Mingle right now telling some 350 pound whale hiding behind a photoshopped picture that you’d drink their bathwater like hot top ramen water in January. I completely understand if there was ever a place for fronting, the internet was that place. But fronting at the expense of others, was never cool, especially when your self esteem is lower than a Bobby Valentino ankle sock.
Listen people, thirst is cool. As I stated before its necessary, when done in moderation its a great way to let that other person know you’re interested. It shouldn’t be used as documented ransom during an internet beef. If a man wants to display thirst to that chick with table coasters over her areolas in her twitcon, if a woman wants to send dehydrated e-letters of love to the guy that photoshopped his head on Ll cool J’s body, so be it. Let em cook. You never know how it’ll work out for them. All we ask is that it stay how it started, in privacy.

“We are thirst, thirst is we. Thirst is life.” – Anon
Peace out.

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