The late infamous Karl Marx once said "History repeats itself..." and in my twenty-five years I would have to agree with him 100%. In the recent years the hip-hop/urban culture has embraced the whole 80's era and now the 90’s again through fashion, music and slang. The funny thing though is even though many things have been revamped our culture always seems to advance and evolve at the same time especially our slang or to be "P.C", Ebonics.
Over the years many slang words have had their peak...they died and somehow risen again. Words such as fly, dope and bro have found ways to creep back into our vocabulary. But there are only two words, TWO that have surpassed all in the Ebonics Hall of Fame and I believe they must die IMMEDIATEDLY. The 1st one word which is unisex is "Swag" and the 2nd which is used by females and probably gay dudes is "Fab".
Weird thing is swag has been around for years but recently blew up like an asshole after white castle value meal followed with Indian food for dessert. The peak was reached with the help of Soulja Boy's "Turn My Swag On" and F.L.Y."Swag Surfin", Brb I'm going to throw up. Sorry about that but it makes me sick to my stomach, first because I am an individual who knows what a true swagger is and actually possess my own swag. Secondly as a New Yorker it hurts seeing the country following lame ringtone rappers to identify themselves. New York is the epicenter for just about anything and everything and we let (let's bring it down south) bammers such as Soulja Boy and F.L.Y. erect a Swagless Movement across my 5 boros. The reason this must be addressed friends because just like talent, swag is natural, it’s in your blood but I see on a daily basis lames who use to have lunch by themselves in junior high school/high school in the streets, in the club, on MySpace/Facebook/twitter talking about how fly they are, which club they poppin' bottles at or how many dudes/chicks they bag. Look obviously we can't overcome these posers of swag so let’s point out some symptoms so maybe their image can be revamped and they can stop making a fool of themselves, leave that to the XXXL tee wearing, white out on shades Soulja Boy.
- You need to have YOUR OWN style- Do not tighten up your Levis just because Jim Jones said it is cool now, if you like wearing 44 jeans even though you weight 140 lbs do it! The biggest thing is that when you try to impersonate someone or something you FAIL. Be yourself people.
- A Penny Saved it a Penny earned- If you can't afford a bottle of champagne or Goose in the club go drink some Coronas. True swagger does not hold up the line at the club because you and 15 of your mans are putting money together to cop a pint of Henny. Owning a LV speedy bag or a pair of Dolce shades does not make you Fab ladies. If you can only afford Steve Madden rock Steve Madden. I would prefer her because at least she may have some savings in the bank. Speedy bags with matching American Apparel shirt and Uggz means maxed credit card and no cab fare. It appears many of you did not get the memo but Uggz are not uptowns ladies. They are cool in the winter but wearing them in 80 degree weather just let us know you have smelly corns. I mean the "hood" has stepped it up dudes are rocking Gucci sneakers to the club now get yourself a decent pair of heels if you are truly Fab.
- Less is More- Anyone can go a store and purchase what is on the mannequin but I believe it is not what you wear but how you wear it. Do not buy a Jordan tee with a Jordan sweat-suit with Jordan socks to match the new Retro 11's you purchased. Same for the luxury shit, anyone can spend a couple hundred on an outfit to rock in the club while sucking on ice cubes from the drink you purchased an hour ago. But tomorrow when you go to the corner store you will be like me in basketball shorts and flip-flops. It’s harder than a teenage boy at a peep show to emulate that your money is long eventually it will catch up to you and you will be exposed.
- Sleepless in Seattle was a cool movie-But do not try to relive it in 2009 fellas. If you have done any of the three things I am about to list then you know your swag level equates to an atom. First after constant begging you finally get shorty number but you decide you want to call her before she leaves to ensure it is the right number or when she does not give you her number you ask for her e-mail instead. Last but not least (sorry have to regurgitate again) instead of e-mail you ask for her name on Facebook or AIM screen name. Some of you may be laughing but everything I write is true I have seen it with my own two eyes. Like I wouldn't feel cool in the car after the club telling my peoples that XxNyFinestDimePiecexX (hope that isn’t a real screen name) has a boyfriend but says we can chat on AIM.
There are plenty more tips I can provide for the swag-less but Rome was not built in a day. A follow up is soon to come but please tell me your thoughts on life since swagger emerged or more poser swag shit that you have seen recently. Remember those with a swag deficiency you can not fool the elite because we are listening and the cameras are watching ;)