Friday, July 31, 2009

The Kelly Blue Book of Vag

Recently was talking to some friends about college, the funny times, sad times, and the nasty times ;). Of course one part of the conversation was the introduction of Facebook, originally a "networking" tool for students of the higher education system but now anyone can make a Facebook page and you can even make a Fan page for your pet Goldfish if you desire.

Social Networks are easily the culprit of late nights during week days or attention whores while in class or the train. It funny how these sites have become the “networking” sources for our generation. Seriously you may not even ask a chick for her number just tell her "Tweet me". Ladies you must be aware that these social networks might be the factor which determines if a man wants to take you to dinner or take you for short stay at the Motel 6.

One of the biggest ego crushers for a man is being seen "cuffin" a female who has been around the block a few times. So be aware prior to that first date (real G's do this) or right after that first date a man is checking all your mutual friends or followers (now with Twitter explosion). First he is trying to see your circle of female friends then he will look at the males you are associated. This is the basic way that men Carfax the vag. Depending on the man he may "pay his 19.95 for a full review and accident report" on the vag. This varies by the network of the male. A well known/charismatic individual will know other individuals "in the know". With all this technology a quick text message/e-mail/facebook message can give a man 80% accurate review of mileage (bodies known she took down) and accident report (children or abortions). As aforementioned in my previous post men are emotional bitches. One of the biggest ego crushers is "wifing"/"cuffing" a female who got ran through by Tom, Dick, Harry and Harry's 3rd cousin. In most major cities such as New York vag supply is always high like our current unemployment rate so you ladies have less to work with compared to us males. Most ladies already are very picky and particular so I know it’s even worse when it comes to who you sleep with. That is not a bad thing at all, but you ladies have failed to realize most the dudes you want to or have slept with know the other men you slept with. Prior to the social networks you only had even less choices ladies but now you can find yourself a cutie from the Bronx from your dorm room/office minus the train ride.

"Females will fake an orgasm for an relationship while a male will fake a relationship for an orgasm"

Ladies instead of getting tattoos of fuckery on your lower back ya'll should tattoo that quote. Every time he gives you backshots he will either enjoy it or have a guilty conscious. Ladies always saying they do not understand men but we are very simple creatures. Men are simply freelance actors. Some are better compared than others but a man is just trying to play a role which ends up him getting the "starring role" or the No-Pants Dance. So ladies please make much better decisions of who you sleep with; Technology has made life easier for us men. Usually when you sleep with someone they say you are sleeping with everyone they been involved with prior. Same applies when you accept that friend request.

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