History has always showed us how being "different" can cause pain and death. Just look at the Europeans, whose barbaric ways killed off the Indians, oops I mean Native Americans, thank you Columbus for the wrong terminology. Another example, is the African Slave trade which led to the present and ongoing feud between the black and white races. Throughout American history there has been several movements and reform for different minority groups to ensure we can achieve the American Dream equally. In more recent times a focal point of society has been the LGBT community. I have to give it up to those apart of that community, they have been through various struggles and have achieved great strives in such a short period of time but does the victim card help or hurt minorities groups? As a black man I personally know how the victim card can instill hatred instead of empathy into others. Since my youth, I have seen plenty of individuals flourish into their sexuality, men losing their bass in their voice, women trading in push up bras for sports bras and fitteds, etc. For the most part it is pushed into our lives via the media, the news and TV shows, Will and Grace, Real World, the LOGO network are a few examples but the list goes on. The community also began to take strives by getting laws passed to eliminate discrimination and some states have allowed same sex marriages. There has been many accomplishments but just like most civil rights movements in this country they have a long way to go. It use to appear weird seeing a same sex couple walking the street holding hands, at one point they were afraid to even do so but times have changed greatly. It has yet to be proven but those from the LGBT community say they are born that way and there is still a great wall of courage one has to leap to be open about their sexuality.
Recently at
1. Would they have posted the video regardless of the action during his time alone in the room?
No matter the content of the video they would have followed through with the prank, Clementi could have been dancing covered in peanut butter; the video was going to hit the web regardless. Would it still be a hate crime?
2. Has any other factors been put into the mix of why he committed suicide?
This isn’t the first time a college student killed himself. College life is stressful and then you add 15 credits, a part maybe even full time job - the video could have just been the straw that broke the camel’s back.There could be plenty of outside reasons why he had to hide his sexuality and therefore adding to his stress levels: general acceptance, family and friends. So
At one point in American history we use to slander those from the LGBT community for being different. Now the media embraces them so if you talk bad about them, first amendment deez nuts. Better not get in an altercation, intentional or not with a homosexual it’s now a hate crime. Disagreements is apart of life, some minuscule and non violent like between two boys in a schoolyard, while others can be long and deadly like the War in
Society burns bridges before they are even built. Why do you think racism is still alive, why you watch the every movement of an Arab who boards the train, or your skin crawls when an openly gay man crosses you on the street?. Our great land which accommodated racism with Jim Crow laws later overturned it telling Americans don't be racist anymore. Homosexuals use to have to hide their sexuality until
Hopefully Ravi and Wei are punished properly for the crimes they have committed and not turned into puppets of hate for
"Niggas fear what they don't understand, hate what they can't conquer, guess it's just the theory on man"
When I told people I was writing this blog post a lot of interest was received on this topic. Many have voiced to me that it is really hard to choose if they should take the next step with people they are dating. There are people who date and date with no idea if this is someone they want to develop a relationship with. Then there are those who invest in relationships without doing their due diligence in getting to know their partner. A lot of people neglect certain factors that they dislike about a person, but many times choose to overlook these things in search of love and companionship. Not fully getting to know one another individually always leads to premature relationships and marriages which cause more damage to your well-being than good.
In this post I attempt to give a reference point or guide of measurement for those before they enter in the investment of a long-term relationship or potential marriage. The science of love is a mystery and cannot always be explained, but there shouldn’t be any confusion with love or like. You can’t make key life decisions off the basis of pure emotion alone. First things first, before you enter into any relationship you should have a sufficient love of self. I will go into detail more about love of self in a future blog, but just know you cannot properly invest in a long-term relationship or marriage without it.
So now I will speak about the 5 domains of self-wellness that long-term relationships and marriages directly affect. The first domain I will speak about is in the area of Spirituality. A quote I love to cite is ”Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”-Aristotle. I love this because people do not realize that when you consummate a relationship you and another person are co-creating another soul. This is the soul of love or the lack therefore of. You cannot create love if the soul of one of the individuals’ soul is empty on this matter. Someone who truly loves another human being will show love with impeccable word. Words of kindness, appreciation, and joy will feed the spirit of both individuals the majority of the time. Fewer times of conflict and stress is what is needed to maintain spiritual wellness. Words of affirmation feed the mind, body, and soul, while words of anger and hostility damage the mind, body, and soul. So for a lasting love this area of your relationship must be healthy.
The next domain I will look at is the area of Mental Wellness. Sometimes mentally scarring in a bad relationship can permanently damage individuals for a lifetime dealing with the opposite sex. Some people are mentally fragile in this world and bad relationships can lead to a downfall of mental health such as illness, addiction, and self-abuse. For those who it doesn’t affect as deeply unhealthy relationships affecting your mental may surface in the form of self-rejection. This state of mind affects the self-esteem and confidence of an individual invested in an unhealthy relationship. The underestimation of self in situations become commonplace mentally for many during this time. This can transfer not just in your relationship, but in all facets of life. Also, during an unhealthy relationship other core elements of mental wellness maybe affected like lack of good nutrition, exercise, lack of sleep, and increased stress. Also a change in attitude will be noted as well by loved ones. If your optimistic attitude on life is stilted it maybe time to pull out of your investment in this relationship or marriage.
My third domain I will address is in the area of Emotional Wellness. This area is a sibling of Mental Wellness as they are intertwined. Women are generally affected more than men emotionally in a bad relationship. Before you invest emotionally in a relationship there must be mutual commitment, trust, and respect. For a lasting love their must constant reflection on how you two treat one another. Couples that are open to change and respond to each other’s emotional needs last longer than who are not as adaptable to change. Also, a base of unconditional love and respect must be developing between a couple. Generally women’s emotions respond best to unconditional love by her man. Just as man who lacks a woman’s nurturing loving nature responds best to unconditional respect from his lady. Having a healthy relationship with your mate will help you keep your emotions more positive and optimistic. Other relationships will benefit and your love of self will be higher. Therefore, keeping your emotional and mental state stable and positive is always best.
I hope you enjoy this blog post and feel free to comment or email me at misterb@executivelifestylegroup.com if you have any questions.
Enough about the South let's get back on track. This is a very sensitive topic, friends, pussy eating is something a black man may only discuss with his immediate circle. A black man would most likely embarrass his homeboy for owing him $20 instead of blasting him about that cross-eyed chick he went down on after the club last week (blame it on the goose). But what are we ashamed of, my brothers? Spanish dudes have no shame in their game; they gladly broadcast their love to go down on a woman. I won't go into the first time I actually performed the act myself, I mean, I didn't know any better at the time. I was just doing stuff I saw on my porn vhs's (damn, I feel old saying that), but over the years as I matured, I now know the benefit of skillfully using my tongue in the bedroom. Any male peer of mine I ever engaged in a conversation on sex never frowned upon getting head. Some prefer vaginal sex to reach orgasm but I guess they never encountered a lady whose jaws work magic. The sexuality of our black counterparts are higher than ever. Black women are quick to talk shit about us men but I never hear about black men complaining about not receiving sloppy, wet, toe curling sex from them. They are doing their part religiously. Kudos, to the ladies because they have no shame in their game, I can not remember the last time I heard a dude say he got hit with the "I don't give head" line. So now at twenty-something going on thirty black men are still going to play dumb when it comes to giving "special attention" to the ladies? Truthfully. some of you brothers need to step your head game up because there are still too many ladies still complaining in 2010 about the lack of motion in their oceans. Next time "My Neck, My Back" comes on in the club, you better make your way to the dance floor and dance with a female with pride because the fronting has to stop.
Lets jump back to the middle of this blog for a little bit, the part about Southern men proudly announcing their love dive head first into the ebony nest. There is no reason that pum pum munching brothers advertise their fetish to the masses. Unfortunately in 2010 the social networks have moved from your networking needs to free dating services. So some have found this as an outlet to write updates like this:
RT @TheKillaStory: I kno I eat pussy idc!
RT @WOWkoww:I only eat pussy on weekdays.
RT @mr_Ritefornow:eat pussy or die
RT @Feed_Me_Pussy:LADIES, WE NEED 2 VOLUNTEERS 4 A PUSSYEATN CONTEST. LMAO! RT @PleasureBoii: @Feed_Me_Pussy I just wanted to say I eat it better loll
What did you fellas do before Facebook, Twitter etc? You did not walk around with “I Eat Vag” tatted on your arm. There is no reason to try to use it as an advantage on the gentlemen with decency. I don’t understand how woman are attracted to you overzealous munchers anyway because plenty of people don’t practice have good hygiene methods. So why would you go around putting a bunch of random pussies in your mouth?
It just a dirty move on your part if you still use the “If I eat it I’ll beat it" swindle as an adult. If you don’t have any personality or “swag” (I hate that word) best if you move down south. But enough on you guys lets get back to the topic at hand.
As a man you may be sitting here thinking your game is tight and you attract women without eating the box but trust me there are plenty of brothers, as aforementioned out there eating the box like its going out of style. There will be a night when your girl tells you she is hitting the club with her peoples when she actually may be riding the face of one of these brothers. Lady friends have told me and proven via text messages/emails about dudes who are willing to perform fellatio on them with no strings attached, sometimes they even fall for the Eat and Beat swindle. So get down or get left playa!
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On July 14th 2010 I lost my good friend Stephen "Scrooge" Botas. Not the 1st time I lost a friend but this really hit me hard because he was still so young and just a great down to earth person. No I am not wishing death on all the evil people out there but situations like this make you cherish your life even more, every morning when we rise. Many mornings that we actually take for granted. But this is just a little something I wrote on the steps of some random church on 5th ave when I received news of his passing...The black father has been spotted with the weapons of mass destruction in
What does it mean to be a father? Give your realest answer, experiences whatever. Even if he wasn't around or you are just a bird who collects a check. Even if you not a pops, yall know what I mean.
Well not that simple because it is such a touchy subject in the hood but Q Double has put together a collage of answers from his friends and colleagues. Some funny, some sad, some different and plenty you can relate to. For more by Q Double check him out on http://www.incredulouscribes.com
I got an email the other day from a fan of the site. My first thought: "DAMN we got a fan, hope it ain't the po-lease." Upon skimming through the "shit," "muhfucka," "that bitch ain't shit," "fuck-a-cuddle," and "yo wassup with Snugg she single," this person asked what are my thoughts about “Fahvazs Day.”
Now I can say that this day is overlooked because the big companies are run by momma’s boys who don’t even know how to be fathers themselves.
-OR-
There’s plenty of real fathers out there. They just get the “F-ck You” treatment because the courts are used to helping the female instead of the male (FUCK CHILD SUPPORT!!!!).
But why just have that, when I can have the thoughts from fellow readers. Share their feelings and experiences, and have it all coming together to create the realest, and truest, Fahvaz Day from peoples who live it and go through it every day.
Cause here at I.S., we don't just write the plain ass facts, if we did than we'll be just some respectable negroes.
Prepare to laugh, cry, doze off, nod in agreement, yell, smack your daddy because he did that to you, hug your daddy because he did that to you, reminisce, or just smile for the next couple of minutes.
And remember to wish the REAL FATHERS a Happy Fahvaz Day.
Definition of a Father:
"A man that is there to guide you from not making a mistake and point you in the right direction. Hold you down no matter what and love you unconditionally." -Gypsy
"In its simplest definition, I'd say a sperm donor. As in: 'In the case of Quantanesha... You ARE the father.'" – Snugg McNugg
"Guidance and support. I damn sure ain't no pappy. Maury cleared me already." -B. Tate
-Scribes Note: FUCK MAURY and the all the ignorant people who want to be on the show.
"Being a dad is patience, sacrifice, and fearlessness: Patience is plainly what it sounds like.....and lots and lots of it." -Q. Busy
"A father is supposed to be a leader, an advisor, a teacher, a counselor, and your number one fan. My dad and I weren't close when I was younger. It wasn't till recently when we almost had a brawl that we realized how much a like we were. I had to tell him how much I needed his support not just financially but emotionally. Now he is always there to listen and his advice is the greatest. I am grateful to have him cause three years ago he might not have been here." -J. Moore
"Guidance and he is supposed to show u how to be a man…well for a son that is. I don't want fathers raising women to be dikes." -Shotta Dru
You wasn’t there, didn’t make me no never mind:
"Honestly, my uncle was a true dad to me: picking me up from school, spoiling me, disciplining me, and all that. He supports my mother, his sister, through everything. A real father is there through the good, the bad, the ugly, and in between. You can honestly feel their love and understand it. Guidance, Love, and Support. You may not see it but you know they got you no matter what.” –Chrissy
"My godfather is my father. He is hip and cool and we have the same b-day. I forgave my father for being a jerk." -Gypsy
"My father was barely there when I was growing up. Enough said. Not like he is helping me now or when I was younger. Still turned out to be a fine young man without him. So fuck him." –Q. Holliday
"But there is mad shit I had to learn from observation. Even how I deal with chicks, I learned on my own. Cause all my mom could teach me was ‘use condoms’ and ‘I ain’t raising no grandkids. My grandfather was my father. That’s why I never got over his death.” –Shotta Dru
I beat my kid’s ass. SO WHAT!!!! They my kids:
"I don't think experience is all that counts cuz u have young dads like myself. I think it's whether or not you choose to make the sacrifices necessary to see your children grow to be better off in life. I will say I'm a father and hope my daughter is raised with the right morals instilled in her to make her a better and stronger "woman." So for now, I'm Dad because I will make mistakes, but it takes a father to understand. Ya dig!!!" -D. DeLeon
"As a father, nothing makes you happier that watching your kids laugh, but many choose to live for themselves and never experience that." –G.
“Sacrifice: Meaning, sometimes--most of the time--giving up the material things (and time to do them) to ensure that they have the finest things that my wife and I can provide for them. If that means that I’m going to continue wearing these tired ass jeans and polo sneakers a lil’ while longer so that they can look correct, so be it.” –Q. Busy
Baby Mommas, Daddies, & Deadbeats:
"Me personally, I never understood the deadbeat dad shit, I LOVE watching my kids!!! They are comedy in motion." -W. Jasper
"Fuck that father shit. Can't bust in these bitches these days. They looking' for a come up to trap a nigga. So I'm just going to stack this bread and fuck these hoes. Til' the day I'm a father, that's all I'm 'bout." –L. Smith
“This might offend some people, but fuck it. There are some trifling ass women out here who can't fathom what a good man and father is. So they cut him loose and do what's easy: Get that man for motherfuckin' child support. These bitches thinking their winning too." –T. Lewis
"I refuse to be a baby's daddy. Who invented that shit?"
-Scribes Note: Women did. It has been documented and recorded throughout the 70s til now. Now that phrase is the norm now. If you think I’m lying, then you must be one of those women.
“I think child support is misused by the courts and SOME of the people that receive it. You have conniving women who feel that a child support check is a real check and choose not to work. So they start to spend the child’s money for their own needs and wants. On the same token, there are daddies out there who use that child support check as the excuse for raising their child. All-in-all: Those checks are fucking up the parental system in some way, using it as a means for raising kids. It needs to be re-worked and fixed in a way where it’s not being misused and the REAL parents don’t have to pay out, not even know if the child is receiving it. *fin*” –Q Double
Speaking about baby daddies, somebody has something to say…:
"It means a lot to be a father, doesn't mean shit to be a daddy though. I hate the term 'baby daddy,' that's not me. Daddy is one who is around, a father is the one who brings you up and teaches you right from wrong. The one who educates, not buys his kid a pair of Jordan’s every once in a while or a new PS3 game...I'm my child’s father and not a bitches 'baby daddy.' I don't know too many people who do what I do, and that's to be a single father. Shit is the toughest task I have ever taken on. It's important for a child to have both parents. It's hard for a man to try to care and show that soft side like a woman does for a child. Fathers show love, fathers deserve a Fathers Day, cuz I know I do. I had a FATHER growin' up, no DADDY, and I will make sure mine has the same. Niggas don't understand they "emotionally fuck" up their children from the get, trying be a baby daddy. It's sad to say, but I have seen it with both of my nieces, they just had daddies. Shit is lame." -C. Wright
"I wanted to walk just like you/ wanted to talk just like you"
-Jay-Z "Soon You'll Understand:"
"A real father knows that his kids are looking at everything their doing. From how you put your socks on to the way you drink. It’s all recorded." -The Homeboy Southside Queens.
"My lil' boy was sitting on the couch watching cartoons, right. I'm just looking at him through the corner of my eye. Just looking. Then he turns and says 'you got a problem Dad, I'm trying watch my shows.' Yeah, I knew was a father at that moment." -D. Harrington
"Picture a kid's world. They're either happy (laughing) or sad (crying). Link that to a parent. Parents ALWAYS know how their kids are feeling." –G.
Men do not understand women and women do not understand men. No matter how many books you read, how many magazine surveys you take or gossip you gather in the barbershop or salon, the complexity of the two species can’t be solved. Only thing we can do is obtain knowledge from our OWN experiences, learn from our mistakes and live a positive life toward our goals and dreams. It doesn't hurt getting a nut or two while we bumble along on this bumpy road towards success. I mean, conference calls, overtime at the office and train delays deserve some sort of award, I believe. The bedroom is one of the most mystical and mysterious situations where the battle of the sexes collide. Over the years old partners and female friends have been searching for an answer on one subject about us males, not for their benefit but to help them help us. "What makes pussy good?" No, this is not the same as my previous post "You Don't Really Have Good Pussy.” I touched upon a lot of the external factors, which brought "value" to the sweetness between a ladies legs. But many want to understand the physical portion, why after just a few strokes your lover has rolled over and is now sucking his thumb while you’re laying there more upset than white people during the OJ verdict.
Basically ladies, pussy is pussy. Physically, just like men, the actual vag has different attributes. Some clits are big, some are small, some ladies walk around always moist, for some it takes a little more influence to get the juices flowing but to men, its all the same shit. A man can make anything "feel" good if he puts his mind to it. If you blindfold a Nazi and have him sleep with an African woman I bet he will get a nut. Just like women, a huge percentage of our orgasm derives from our mental. Just think of masturbation for men compared to women, the arrays of devices women can choose from compared to a man, all we need is a little lotion and a magazine to make our magic happen. So what makes your pussy different from your home girl and how do you determine whose is better? Ladies, have failed to realize our similarities and how emotion, affection and feelings play a factor for a man in the bedroom. We have seen great comedians such as Eddie Murphy do stand up about cheating and recite this famous line "I just fuck those other girls, but I make love to you." Regardless, how funny and ridiculous that sounds, it’s true! You may think back now at "fuck buddy" situations, 12pm or 12am no matter the hour he wanted you but he just wanted your body, not YOU as a person. That doesn't mean the actual vag was good but a man loves no attachment, requirements pussy. You might not be able to ride it like his main chick but to him variation is better. How do you think the term "Ain't no pussy better than new pussy" was derived? The feeling of new pussy is like that first bike ride without training wheels. You broke another barrier in life and during that ride down your block you are on top of the world or on top of someone’s daughter.
So folks there it is, Pussy is pussy. There’s little you ladies can do to alter your vag to make it more enjoyable (this does not mean don't shave or do your kegals) same way a man cannot alter his penis size. Many have confused a man lusting after your pussy as good pussy and that is not the case. The determining factor is the man feelings toward you. Domestic abilities along with things like road head, sex in spontaneous places, hand jobs on the dollar van etc. are ways to bring up your pussy value. A fuck buddy and a girlfriend are also BIG factors. A man lusts for pussy once he hits puberty but you want a man to love YOU. The benefits will be displayed when he enters your love nest. Remember your feelings may be on a different level from your partner and you might do things to please him, such as give him your body. Just because he hits it right don’t assume it’s because you have good pussy. A physical connection holds no weight on a mental connection. Compare encounters you had with someone you actually got to know compared to situations where it jumped right into the physical. New pussy is priority but free (no work required) pussy is rarely passed up. So do not equate a man running you down to get in your draws again as your vag being good. You are just more convenient than the girl he bagged at the club last night, might take a date or two before they are playing "Just the tip,” then he will be #ontothenextone. Hopefully, ladies the gap between men and women has been bridged somewhat after reading this. Just remember it’s highly unlikely you can alter the feeling, wetness, looseness of your vag but if you learn to mentally fuck a man first before getting in the bed your pussy is good.
Unlike my other blogs the ideas and content had a great contribution from my two homeboys. Catch more of their mental on twitter @GreedyVegan and @LilFridaaayyy.
